Forecasts for 9/4

I am going to rate these games by their level of entertainment/importance.

Walk the dog or work on your taxes instead

Weber State at Boston College
BC will crush the Wildcats at home. I give Weber some props though for traveling so far outside of their own back yard, but hey, this is not exactly where we expect to see a Big Sky team play. I guess the New England chapter schools of the Colonial Athletic Association are getting a little too good to beat up on for BC.

Vegas Line: None
I Pick: Guess who....

North Texas at Clemson
So this is where the fall of Todd Dodge begins for North Texas. Clemson should win easily and move on.

Vegas Line: Clemson -22
I Pick: Clemson...have a nice Orange Crush

Elon at Duke
The only credit Duke gets for playing the Phoenix, is that Elon is from the Southern Conference, which is a highly credible 1-AA league. It is also the home of Appalachian State. Duke should win, but won't crush Elon by any means.

Vegas Line: None
I Pick: Duke, but not by more than 10

Samford at Florida State
This is why the ACC is a football joke. This is the best that the Seminoles could do for an opener? Why did they not just have another team scrimage before visiting Oklahoma next week?

Vegas Line: None
I Pick: FSU...duh

South Carolina State at Georgia Tech
Looks like nobody from the ACC outside of North Carolina wants to even attempt to get a jump in my poll after week one. Is Tech serious with this game? What a joke.

Vegas Line: None
I Pick: Tech...just don't make them bleed too much.

Western Carolina at  NC State
For the most part, don't even bother watching any ACC football this week. I don't understand how the NCAA allows this, and actually rewards teams for playing games like this in the polls.

Vegas Line: None
I Pick: NC State and mercenary Tom O'Brien (first merc reference)

Stony Brook at South Florida
I have no idea what the Sea Wolves will actually get out of playing this game in Tampa, but it'll be nothing but a marginal paycheck and a bunch of broken bones. Good luck.

Vegas Line: None
I Pick: USF in a romp

Syracuse at Akron
This post has basically been devoted to games against crappy 1-AA schools, but this game nearly qualifies. Nothing like watching two go nowhere programs on a Saturday afternoon. Enjoy what's left of your Summer and do something else.

Vegas Line: Syracuse -7
I Pick: The Orangemen...easily

Coastal Carolina at West Virginia
That's how you get better every week...play teams from the Big South Conference that have been fielding football teams for less than 15 years. That's the ticket.

Vegas Line: None
I Pick: WVU in a laugher

Eastern Illinois at Iowa
The Hawkeyes should reserve 1-AA scheduling for in state foe Northern Iowa. This game has no meaning for anyone, and does not deserve much attention.

Vegas Line: None
I Pick: The Hawkeyes should be ashamed for even slotting this one.

Northwestern at Vanderbilt
I was watching a science and math show and a football game broke out. Two incredible universities, but Vandy is a bottom feeder again. Northwestern will run away with this one, and should do so early. Watch maybe the first quarter, and then go water a lawn.

Vegas Line: NW -3
I Pick: NW all day man...3 points is a gimme.

Youngstown State at Penn State
Paterno will find some way to talk up the Penguins. And then he'll make a reference about peas and jell-o. You figure it out.

Vegas Line: None
I Pick: Penn State by 142 points.

Sam Houston State at Baylor
The Bearcats will be the first victim of the Robert Griffin comeback story. It should be nice and ugly. Baylor rolls.

Vegas Line: None
I Pick: Baylor

North Dakota State at Kansas
And the Jayhawks were worried about what would happen if the Big 12 fell apart? If you play games like this, that should be the least of your worries. Turner Gill gets his first win at the expense of an unsuspecting patsy.

Vegas Line: No Line
I Pick: Kansas

Western Kentucky at Nebraska
It's obvious that Tom Osbourne is scheduling the games again. This is his favorite kind of cream puff.

Vegas Line: Huskers -35
I Pick: Nebraska will treat this like a practice game, and lots of kids will play. Must be 1984 again.

Utah State at Oklahoma
These two schools don't live on the same planet in the football universe. OU gets another easy W.

Vegas Line: OU -28.5
I Pick: OU will hammer the Aggies by every bit of that spread, and if they don't you had better be worried about them. Beware of the "looking ahead trap" with Florida State coming to town next week.

Washington State at Oklahoma State
WSU just plain sucks, and OSU is an enigma. Even an enigma can rout the Cougars.

Vegas Line: Cowboys -14
I Pick: OSU should cover that

Texas at Rice
This will be over about 10 minutes into the game. It's only worth a few laughs at the expense of Rice after that.

Vagas Line: Horns -28
I Pick: Texas without burning a brain cell to think about it

Stephen F. Austin at Texas A&M
Ever wonder why there were so few quality games for TV early in the season? This is the fucking reason.

Vegas Line: None
I Pick: A&M by a truck load

Texas State at Houston
Remember when the Cougars were dropping 90 on people during the Andre Ware/David Klingler eras? It could happen again.

Vegas Line: None
I Pick: Houston...they may break 100

Southeastern Louisiana at Tulane
I guess Bob Toledo has to find some way to save his job. I'd just quit with my leftover dignity.

Vegas Line: None
I Pick: Tulane

South Dakota at Central Florida
This may have been interesting 20 years ago, but maybe not.

Vegas Line: None
I Pick: UCF

Arkansas Pine-Bluff at UTEP
I hear that Pine Bluff is in danger of a double dip recession. Save money and forfeit this game now.

Vegas Line: None
I Pick: UTEP...by win or by forfeit

Army at Eastern Michigan
The long march to the Eagle Bank Bowl begins for Army. They won't throw a pass and will still win by at least 3 scores.

Vegas Line: Army -7.5
I Pick: Army...it must be Christmas at West Point with that spread

Miami (Ohio) at Florida
Oh boy...maybe the Gators will all eat bad clams Friday night...then the Redskins will only lose by 50.

Vegas Line: Gators -35
I Pick: Florida...and it won't be that close

Wofford at Ohio
35 people will be at this game. It'll be a real hoot.

Vegas Line: None
I Pick: Ohio

Northwestern State at Air Force
The Falcons are better than this. So tired of these crappy games!!!

Vegas Line: None
I Pick: Air Force

Southern Utah at Wyoming
You won't glean anything about the Cowboys by watching them embarrass the Thunderbirds in Laromie. At least the trip back to Cedar City won't be too long for SUU.

Vegas Line: None
I Pick: Wyoming

Portland State at Arizona State
Even if Neil Lomax came out of a time warp, PSU would not have a shot in hell at making this game watchable. This is just one of two 1-AA opponents for the Sun Devils. Shameful.

Vegas Line: None
I Pick: Arizona State

UC Davis at California
UCD defeated Stanford a couple of years ago. That won't happen here. UCD has given some consideration to going 1-A and joining the WAC. Save your selves the trouble and don't...just don't.

Vegas Line: None
I Pick: California

Sacramento State at Stanford
I am starting to wonder if anyone outside of Montana may win an opener in the Big Sky this week. They won't get one here. The Hornets will go down hard.

Vegas Line: None
I Pick: Stanford will get nowhere near reliving their nightmare loss to Davis a couple of seasons ago.

San Jose State at Alabama
Who in their right mind actually thinks that the Spartans can keep it close with the Tide this week? Bama has practices harder than this.

Vegas Line: Bama -38
I Pick: Bama with incredible ease

Tennessee Tech at Arkansas
Tennessee Tech...seriously? That SEC really racks up some toughies.

Vegas Line: None
I Pick: Arkansas

Arkansas State at Auburn
This game may actually be close for about a quarter, and then Auburn will kick it into overdrive, and that will be all.

Vegas Line: Auburn -30
I Pick: Auburn straight up, but 30 actually seems like a lot for the Tigers.

Louisiana-Lafayette at Georgia
Another classic opening week game in the SEC. Georgia went out on a limb last season and opened up at Oklahoma State, and got beat soundly. I guess that was not a chance worth taking. Load up the cup cakes!!!

Vegas Line: UGA -24.5
I Pick: UGA...why not.

Jacksonville State at Ole Miss
Masoli or no Masoli...it doesn't freaking matter.

Vegas Line: None
I Pick: Ole Miss everytime on this one.

Tennessee-Martin at Tennessee
Now someone at UT should get the shit beaten out of them for scheduling this game. This game is not worthy if UT football, nor is it worthy for anyone outside of maybe the Sun Belt Conference. Boycott this game. Can you imagine paying good money to go to this game?

Vegas Line: None
I Pick: Tennessee...and I am ashamed of them for playing this game.

Bowling Green at Troy
A year ago, this would have actually been an entertaining game to watch. Not so much now that all of the players that made it interesting have moved on. Not the worst game on the docket this weekend, but certainly nowhere near the best.

Vegas Line: Troy -14
I Pick: Troy at home seems like a safe bet.

Grambling at Louisiana Tech
What the hell are they billing this game as? Some kind of Bayou swamp rat classic or something? Give me a break.

Vegas Line: None
I Pick: Tech by 90